Write Sarahs account of her relationship with Billy Prior Essay Example

Write Sarahs account of her relationship with Billy Prior Essay Example Write Sarahs account of her relationship with Billy Prior Paper Write Sarahs account of her relationship with Billy Prior Paper Write Sarahs account of her relationship with Billy Prior. You should aim to create and authentic voice of Sarah, which builds on Barkers presentation of her character and captures aspects of the written chosen form, structure and language. This bloody train, how can it possibly take so long to get it movingAnd crowds! I just hate them! The constant crying of that baby just seems to irritate every nerve in my body, is it so difficult to satisfy a child, and keep it quiet!? This sickening feeling of being cramped up against bodies is beginning to make me feel as though I just walked back into that awfully retained hospital once again. And that revolting smell of body sweat, from the old man who was just inches away from, physical contact. Well. At least I managed, half suffocated and completely exhausted to spare myself a seat, squeezing me through the little space provided; I practically dragged myself into the nearest seat. Now having a space of my own after, finally catching my breath. Thankfully the trains finally moving, only realizing through the sudden knock of the track; and the clouds of black smoke that continuously belched into the sky. I sat surprisingly relieved, gazed out of the steamed window, searching for desperate need of help. Just as I felt the thought of Billy slip away from my mind; the depressed storm bellowed outside and I just couldnt help but think about our delightful adventurous day out, all the wonderful momentsThe beach, our own little trip up to the forest, and his sneaky venture up to my room. Ha, ha, he does make me laugh; showing his eagerness to climb up into the window, standing there pulling all the faces that you could possibly think of. Not realizing that I had laughed aloud and being stared at suspiciously by others that surrounded me. Yet I could not help restricting myself from the thought of Billys face, as he dragged himself up to my window; his cheeky face steadily modifying its color, putting that great smile back on my face. It was just like romeo and juliet. Except Romeo isnt such a War leaching person, its a shame really. When Billy and I met one another it made me feel like I actually exist in this world. He made me feel like I should appreciate myself. Hes such a polite, young gentle man. A bit forceful though, an I like it this way kind of man. He was ever so polite to me, hed given me a sense of sensitivity and warmth, and Ive never felt anything like it before. He made me feel secure, I felt like he had been another chance for me to put myself back on track; after what happened, I dont think I could accept another death in my life. But my attempts to persuade Mam didnt work. She couldnt accept the fact that I had found someone new in my life. I couldnt even convince her to say hello. It hadnt been such a good idea to have taken him to see Mam. Its not like she helped the situation anyway, that malicious woman! Theres nothing nothing thats she ever approves of me for. She just sat there goading him along like a bull! I really dont think that I could ever forgive her, not even if I tried! Who does she think she is!? She sits there with her cup of tea and rambles on about how theres no such thing as true love Judging him before shes even introduced to him, let alone knowing who he is! I knew it! I just knew that I shouldnt have taken him to see her! Yet he was so eager to see her, what must he think of me now? How could I be so selfish! I dont even know where he went; I just left him, my frustration just seeded through my veins, Just thinking how offensive Mam was, it just made me tremble all over the place. The fury in her eyes, her soft voice suddenly transformed to a shameful deepened tone. I couldnt bare to think how Prior must have felt. I feel ever so sorry for him. What must he be thinking? I continued contemplating about Billy, predicting how he must be so furious at me; whether he still wants me; what hell say to me when I see him. That is, if I see him. The train came to a sudden halt, only to continue this ghastly screeching sound as we approached yet another, wet, busy station; which predictably encouraged the baby to scream even louder. Its making my head ache, almost feeling although it was about to explode, into tiny little molecules. I was beginning to wonder whether Well. Can I actually handle the fact that Billy is ill? I mean. Well, Ive seen what hes like when he gets these horrifying nightmares. He cant control himself! His almost like another person. I dont think I could even possibly consider bringing my children up around something like that, and then theres his asthma attacks, he just doesnt know how to control it. Hes longing to get himself back to that godforsaken place to that pointless war out front. His illness is getting more severe by the day, and he just doesnt see it. I couldnt bear to handle the thought of bringing up his children while hes out there! Its suicideHe just doesnt understand it! He doesnt seem to appreciate what already has. When I come to think about it, maybe I shouldnt have been so harsh on Mam sometimes I understand why she was being so protective. I shouldnt have confronted her. Everything shes done for me, shes virtually saved my life. Keeping me inside all those nights away from them mean men. She was strict. Yes. Of cause, why wouldnt she be? But I see now. I see that I needed a mother like her, and that I took advantage of it all. I should be proud to have a mam like her. How do I know what true love is?Its not like Ive ever had the satisfaction of the true experience, is it?! Im just that typical, young, working class girl, living on her own, no children, no life, nothing! Just little,Sarah Lumb, the working class munition-ette worker! It isnt that bad is it? At least I dont go out wandering into a war, like young Billy wanting to get myself killed! Look at all them poor souls at Craiglockhart! Its dreadful to see so many, innocent, young men have half of their bodies blown to pieces! Just the thought of it makes we quiver. Its horrible. And yet, there you get people like these, sitting on the train; socializing, laughing along to pathetic, hideous jokes; its like lifes a fun, colorful game for them, strolling around like theres nothing happening! I just wish I could do something! Anything! I dont understand how life can still go on for these people, I know mine has long gone; the moment I left Billy. Ok. I know how silly it was of me to start rowing with Billy, but he brought it on himself, and seemed the right decision at the time. So I left, at that moment I felt his eyes follow me, as I left the house; I could see his shocked impression through the reflection of the mirror. I continued, not knowing where I was going. And here I am. I dont actually know where he is now, nor how hes going to get back. That is if he does decide to come back.